"THE 'HOG'-TIED WOLFMAN"
Driven constantly by the desire to be admired by my peers, I worshiped my
"Hog" (Harley Davidson motorcycle), spending countless hours building and
beautifying a machine that only took me further and further
into the emptiness
that continually weighed down my heart and soul. This
robbed my wife and children of the husband and father they
so desperately needed.
But more than that, I was hopelessly lost in my search for fulfillment and peace, and ridden with guilt for the way I was living. I now know that I was actually sinning against God as well as my wife and three children.
During this time I led a double life as a successful engineer by day and a "Hog-riding" wild man by night. The drugs and alcohol I consumed, along with the wretched lifestyle I experienced with the hog-riders, who were also in the same corrupt condition, began to wear me down. Thoughts of suicide came into my mind. I thought, "I have tried it all---rock music, race cars, motorcycles, alcohol, drugs" ---but nothing filled the void in my soul. I lived like an animal; the "Wolfman" (my nickname) was a true reality.
There were no answers, no peace, no purpose in my life. Suicide seemed more and more like the answer. After fifteen years of Godless, full-tilt rebellion against all authority, living the life of a wicked, selfish "me-centered" individual, consuming all the known "feel-good" solutions, I was at the end of my rope-a desperate, drunken, defiant hell-bound, mound of human flesh without the will to live.....